Monday, March 12, 2012

Wow, You Have Got to be a Sumo Wrestler!

Forgive me while I rant a little, I'm entitled!

For some reason the public thinks that it is socially acceptable to just shout and comment about peoples physical features.  And don't act like you haven't done it... "Damn she's got a fat ass" or "look at the nose on that guy."  But most of the time people do this to themselves or to friends, but the one feature people think that is acceptable to speak directly to a person on is height.  Whether it be short or tall.

Now, speaking with over 20 years of experience on the subject the tall or short person is not flattered with you approaching them commenting on what is already super obvious.  The comments that come my way are worth writing about though.  People often show their intelligence when they feel the need to comment on the subject.  I have encountered a million of them and have come up with a million responses.  A lot depends on my mood which response you get, and if you're a hot chick you get a pass regardless on how you approach... Just saying.

If I am standing in line at the DMV for your sake do not grab my arm and say the oldest and dumbest one of all, let's all say it together...  "How's the weather up there?"  What the fuck does that even mean?  I know with increased altitude the temperature drops, but that's not so for a few inches or even a foot.  So I typically respond with something like, "well, what do you think of the weather today."  Or if I'm in a shitty mood I say, "IT RAINING!"  And shoot a wet raspberry their way!

Now you will want to be careful assuming that a tall person plays basketball.  We don't categorize anyone else just based on how they look.  It would be like asking a really short person if they were a horse jockey.  I can assure you that is not flattering at all.  I mean I have never asked a really fat guy if he was into competitive eating.  You just don't do that!  So what makes it acceptable to walk directly in front of a complete stranger and scream out "DAMN YOU'RE TALL."  Nothing makes that acceptable, so don't so it!  My response to that is typically, bad mood or not, is "DAMN YOUR OBSERVANT!  I thought I could sneak that one by you."

Now don't get me wrong, I do understand the curiosity of something different.  It's all about your approach, and being hot helps a lot, but few are so warm up to it with conversation.  And don't make the conversation about other tall people you know.  I don't give a shit about your uncle Steve that was 6'3" which is not even that tall.  True story...  I actually worked with a lady for about a year before she finally got up the nerve to drop it on me.  The woman said "wow, you're really tall."  I said, "yup, I have been the whole time I have worked here."  She then proceeded to asked me if I knew a set of twins that she knew.  Now I didn't catch on until the end, these twins were from Tennessee, where I lived  for a while, and they were tall and black.  We have tons in common so I must know them, right!  She did not know their names or city they were from in the entire state of TN.  So I played along, "yes I know them" I said with enthusiasm, "I actually ran into them at the meeting we have every Wednesday."  I shouldn't have done that because she said "tell them I said hi."

We all need to vent and from time to time and to do so I have a little fun with it.
This guy never said a word about my height.
And these were full grown adults!

So think twice before you think that being outside the average on anything is all fun and games.  Being my height and not on an NBA salary makes buying clothes a big financial decision.

Thanks for reading, check me out on twitter for more. @TheGrimHEEP